Surviving the Holidays in Early Recovery: A Field Guide to Not Losing Your Mind (or Your Sobriety)

11|2025

Ah, the holidays. That magical time of year when families gather to demonstrate exactly why you started drinking in the first place. But here you are—sober, brave, and possibly reconsidering whether witness protection is still an option. Don’t worry, friend. You’ve got this. And if you don’t quite believe that yet, here’s your survival guide for making it through the holiday gauntlet with your sobriety (and sense of humor) intact.

1. Have a Plan Before You Get There

Walking into a family gathering without a plan is like going into battle without pants—technically possible, but you’re going to regret it. Know your exit strategy. Scout your escape routes. Identify safe people. Maybe even practice your “I have to leave early because I have a thing” excuse in the mirror. No, Aunt Karen, not that kind of thing.

2. Come Late, Leave Early

Your sobriety is more important than Uncle Bob’s forty-five-minute dissertation on what “they” don’t want you to know about the government. I promise you, Uncle Bob will still be there next year, possibly wearing the same shirt, still convinced the pigeons are spying on him. Arrive fashionably late (bonus: most of the awkward small talk is over), and exit stage left before things get weird. Your mental health is not a participation trophy—you don’t have to stay for the whole show.

3. Bring an Accountability Friend

Find yourself a buddy—someone who can check in with you throughout the evening without making it obvious they’re running a wellness check. Think of them as your sobriety secret service. A subtle “You good?” text or a knowing glance across the mashed potatoes can be worth its weight in gold. Plus, it’s nice to have someone who understands why you’re white-knuckling a sparkling water like it’s the last life raft on the Titanic.

4. Get a Non-Alcoholic Drink First Thing

Pro tip: Grab a beverage immediately and keep something in your hand all night. It’s your shield, your prop, your conversation deflector. “Want a drink?” “I’ve got one, thanks!” Bonus points if it’s water because hydration is self-care, baby. Extra bonus points if you make it look fancy. Put that La Croix in a wine glass. Add a lime. Live your best mocktail life. You’re not boring—you’re sophisticated.

5. Be Patient with Yourself

You are your own worst critic, and holidays are hard for literally everyone. Yes, even Cousin Perfect-Life Patricia with her color-coordinated children and her homemade organic everything. She’s probably one burnt gingerbread man away from a breakdown too. Give yourself the grace you’d give your best friend. You’re navigating a minefield of triggers while everyone else is just worried about whether the turkey is dry. That’s warrior-level stuff.

6. Be Patient with Others

Not everyone has walked in your shoes, and not everyone is going to get it. Your grandmother might still try to give you “just a little sip” of champagne for the toast because “it’s tradition!” She’s not trying to sabotage you—she’s just been drinking champagne at Christmas since 1947 and doesn’t quite compute that it’s different for you. Educate when you can, smile and nod when you can’t, and remember that their understanding (or lack thereof) doesn’t define your recovery.

7. Leave a Bad Scene

Here’s a revolutionary thought: You’re allowed to leave. Go for a walk. Hide in the bathroom for seven minutes. Offer to make a “grocery store run” and just sit in your car for twenty minutes listening to true crime podcasts. If the situation gets toxic, you are 100% permitted to Irish goodbye your way out of there and find your people—the safe ones who don’t make you want to crawl out of your skin. Your recovery is not rude. Protecting yourself is not selfish.

8. Remind Yourself What the Holidays Are About

If your relationships are strained or challenging right now, remember: it won’t always be this way. Early recovery is like being a butterfly that’s still half-caterpillar. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, and everyone’s staring at you like, “What’s happening there?” But you’re transforming. The holidays are about connection, love, and hope—and sometimes the most loving thing you can do is protect your healing, even if it looks different from what everyone expected.

9. Use Your Coping Skills

Now’s the time to break out every tool in your recovery toolbox. Distract yourself by volunteering to entertain the kids (they’re usually more fun than the adults anyway). Practice box breathing in the bathroom. Do the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique while nodding along to Great Aunt Mildred’s story. Eat mindfully (those cookies aren’t going to appreciate themselves). Meditate. Pray. Bring a fidget spinner, a stress ball, or that weird clicky thing you got from your therapist. Use it all. This is not the time for subtlety—this is survival mode.

10. Remember: You Are Worthy

Here’s the big one: You are worthy of being wherever life has brought you. Read that again. You deserve to be at that table. You deserve to celebrate. You deserve to take up space, eat the good cookies, and exist without apologizing for being in recovery. You are doing your absolute best with exactly where you are right now. Tell yourself this once. Tell yourself this a thousand times. Tattoo it on your brain if you have to. You are not broken for being sober. You are brave. You are fighting for yourself. And that is the most beautiful gift you could give yourself this holiday season.

The Bottom Line

Surviving the holidays in early recovery is no small feat. It takes courage, planning, and a sense of humor about the absolute chaos that is family gatherings. But you’ve already done the hardest thing—you chose recovery. Everything else is just logistics and learning to dodge uncomfortable conversations.

So go forth, brave holiday warrior. Arm yourself with sparkling water and exit strategies. Protect your peace. Honor your journey. And remember: if all else fails, there’s always pie. Nobody can be too mad at you when you’re eating pie.

You’ve got this. And if you don’t believe it yet, borrow my belief until you do. 🎄✨

If you’re ready for a new perspective, don’t hesitate to call.  A New Outlook Recovery Services stands ready and able to help you navigate the challenges you or a loved one is facing. Visit us at our Centennial Office or call 303-798-2196.